First Semester of College + Scriptures

First semester of college ü If any of you read my Anxious, Nervous, Nerves post, you know how nervous I was for college. But I'm happy to report... I survived. It was definitley a new experience for me. I had to learn so much, for school and about myself. My social life was definitley not as exciting as I would have liked it to be but I am so thankful for the friends that I got to hang out with during the semester. I am so thankful for the people that are in my life and that are constantly there for me. 

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During this semester I had my ups and my downs as does every college student, with stress and being this age and just everything. During the down times I sometimes would just kind of dwell in my pool of sadness but I decided that was probably not a great way to deal with things. I tried to become enthralled with the scriptures. I love the scriptures so much and my love for the grew greater during this semester. The scriptures didn't give me the instructions I needed for my classes, thankfully I had textbooks for those. The scriptures definitley are my textbook for life. The Book of Mormon speaks to my soul everytime I read from it. The Spirit is in the words. Its crazy how something written so long ago by people I do not personally know, can be so relavent to me personally and to society today. I gained some new understanding of some subjects, especially the atonement, justice and mercy. (My favorite chapter that I learned about these subjects is Alma 42.) These past few months have been a little rough, but from the help of my faimly, friends, and the gospel, especially the scriptures I have become thankful for the hard times that I went through. The scriptures are so great. The gospel is so great. The atonement is so great. Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are so great. 

My go to scriptures and chapters:

Alma 26 especially verse 12

Alma 34:27

Alma 42

3 Nephi 9: 14

3 Nephi 10-27

Ether 12... I love the whole chapter but especially verse 27

Alma 42 is seriously so amazing. 

Science & God

This whole world is science. Its kind of crazy to think about. Most everything can be traced back to scientific reasoning, but where did science come from? God. Science was created by God. Learning about science strengthens my testimony every time I learn something new. Its crazy. The earth and our bodies are so incredible and work in so many different ways. People study science for their entire lives and cannot comprehend how it all works together to produce what it does. That my friends, is not by chance and there has to be someone behind it all. I truly believe that someone is Heavenly Father.

Think of every way your genetics have impacted your life. What you look like, how your body reacts to things, how your life would be different if your genetic makeup was different.  Recently I was in my biology class and my biology teacher talked about how every single person is 1 of 70 trillion genetic possibilities. I don't know about you but I think that is crazy! If my body looked or acted different, my life could be completely different. (I am trying to stay away from the argument of Nurture vs. Nature... think strictly nature) I could be in a different place. If I were a few inches taller I could be off playing basketball in college, but that isn't for me. God knew that. Yes, there are a few other things that played into my decision but my height was a major reason. This is one of many ways my genetics have impacted my life. I have talked to some people who have had trials with their health and they said they wouldn't change it for a second because of the strength they have gained and knowledge they have received.

In reality it all comes down to the fact that God knows us. He knows us all individually and He knows what we need in this life. Our genetics were pre-determined. When He created us, He put so much thought and effort into crafting a body perfect for the lifestyle each person would live on earth. The human body alone shows how much love Heavenly Father has for us. The earth is so beautiful because of science. Think of all the beautiful sunrises and sunsets that are produced through science. There are so many amazing things God has created because He loves us.

I am so thankful to have a Heavenly Father that loves me so much that He gave me a body that can do so many amazing things. I am so thankful for a Heavenly Father that loves all of His children so much that He gave us a beautiful earth to enjoy. I am so thankful for my Heavenly Father.

Trials

Trials. We all have them. Big and small, they are there and they always will be. I honestly believe there is never a time in our lives when we are not going through something. Satan is always trying to get to us. Trying to get us to give up and give in to his evil ways. And guess what? It is up to us to to decide how we are going to handle them. Are we going to take it upon ourselves do it all on our own? Or are we going to use what has been given to us by our Father in Heaven? The atonement. This amazing gift can help us through literally EVERYTHING. Whether it is something small like being sad because you spilled punch on your white shirt or something huge like death or terminal illness. He is there for us. Jesus Christ chose to suffer for our sins so we would not have to. I seriously amazes me that anyone would do that. I cannot even comprehend the sadness and pain that He must have felt as He willingly went into the Garden of Gethsemane. I literally have no idea how He did it. I will be in debt to Him forever. As I apply the Atonement into my life I have learned my TRIALS DO NOT DEFINE ME. Yes, I have them and yes they can sometimes consume my feelings and emotions but they are not me. They can help shape who I am, but I am not my trials. I feel like we often get so caught up in our problems and trials that we let them run our lives. Yes, they are something that deserve our attention but they should not overtake us. As they overtake us, they push us closer to giving up. We cannot give up. Christ isn't give up in the garden, we cannot give up either. Heavenly Father does not give up on us so we cannot give up on USB either.  We can still be happy, thankful, and ourselves. As troubling as they can be, we should also be thankful for the trails we are given. Yes, they are awful and sometimes very painful but in the end, they build us to be stronger, and hopefully happier. I promise if we trust what in what God has planned for us and if we trust in the Atonement everythin will work perfectly.

"You keep your chin up. It will be all right in the end. Trust God and believe in good things to come."

-Elder Jeffery R. Holland-

To My Children Part 2

Hey kids. In the past year I've picked up on a few things in life. Keep in mind that right now I'm just 18 years old so I really don't know very much even though I may act like I know everything, because that's what all teenagers do. (; One thing I am starting to get a grasp on is opposition. When you are told: "there must be opposition in all things", IT IS TRUE. 2 Nephi 2:11 says "It must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so,... righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor miser, neither good nor bad". If something is good you must know the bad to appreciate it. If you know sadness you know happiness. Isn't that an interesting thought? If you did not know the feeling of sadness you could not truly comprehend the feeling of happiness and joy. Next time you are feeling sad, angry, depressed, or completely lost, please try to remember those are the feelings that give you the power to appreciate all the amazing and happy things in your life.

I have tried to do this when I am feeling down and it really helps me. It doesn't take away the negative feelings but it helped me find things to be thankful for. As I was doing this one day I had this overwhelming feeling that Christ knew exactly what I was feeling. This brought me so much joy because no matter how hard we try to describe a feeling to someone, they never know exactly what we are feeling or thinking, but Christ does. Once I had this epiphany, I grew closer to my Savior. My darkest times improve my relationship with Christ. When I feel sorrow I picture Jesus Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane feeling EXACTLY how I am feeling. He did this for me and for you. All those times when you feel like you are in a dark hole that you will never get out of, Christ has felt that too. Its crazy to think that someone would feel all of the sadness and pain you have felt, exactly how you are feeling it but He did it because He loves you. Please try to remember that as you are going through these hard times. Use them to bring you closer to Christ and use them as an opportunity to be thankful to your Heavenly Father because He knows what is best for you. I know you are not here yet but I love you so very much and cannot wait to meet you.

Here is a song that I love and I promise the lyrics can help you in your own life if you let them speak to you.... and yes it is from the cartoon, Joseph and the King of Dreams.

First day of College

I have officially started college. It isn't as horrible as I thought it would be.   On my first day I got to my first class super early abecasue I was paranoid that I was going to be late or not be able to find my class. I was sitting there by myself and a guy I had a classs with my senior year walked into my class.  We kind of new each other so he sat by me and we talked for a little. It was so comforting knowing that I somewhat knew someone in my class. We don't talk much but we sit by each other every day becasuse we both wanted familarity.  I went to my next class and sat alone and didn't talk to anyone which actually isn't the worse thing ever! I was on my way to biology and I see a freind who I played softball since I was eight all the way until my senior year of high school. We talked and we discovered that we were in the same biology class! I was so excited and relieved. This class is suppose to be my hardest class and it is so nice to have someone i know that I can go over all the material with. In between my biology and religion class I normally have institute but that didn't start until the second week, so I met up with one of my friends and we went to one of the buildings to hang out. We ran into one of my friends who I have known all my life. We talked with here when we figured out that we have institute and world religions together. It was so crazy but made me extremely happy and really calmed me down about school.

Rewind to the night before my first day of college. I was still feeling so nervous. I decided I needed to ask my Dad for a blessing. This was something that was really hard for me for some reason. Satan. Satan made me believe my Dad wouldn't want to give me a blessing. I am so thankful i got the courage to ask because it changed my whole perspective on school. At the end of that blessing I knew I could go to school and be perfectly fine. I felt so calm and I even felt a little excited. My nerves and anxiousness immediately when to tranquility and excitement. I know this was the Spirit of God telling me He loves me and He is watching over me. I am so thankful my Dad holds the preisthood and is willing to use it to help others. The preisthood is such a wonderful gift we all have accesss to. The preisthood is truly a gift from our Father in Heaven.

Anxious, nervous, nerves

I have never been so nervous for anything in my life. I think I would rather run a cross country race than go to school next week. (For those of you that know me, that is a big deal.) I can play in games in front of hundreds of people, I can run in races where I push myself to a new level physically but when it comes to going to college my mind just says no. Every time I think about school, the knot that is in my stomach grows. I don't know what it is. I'm not moving out. I'm not taking anything extremely hard. I don't know if it is the money or the thought of growing up, or maybe both. But I cannot seem to get myself to get over the nervousness.

I don't think I will get over it until I actually go to school and get in the swing of things. Everyone says "its just one step up from high school", but it feels like a million steps up from high school. I know I am a little scared to not know anyone. In reality, I think I'm more scared to not be known, if that makes any sense. Its not like anyone and everyone knew me in high school, but I did know a lot of people and I had a lot of friends. I never went to a class and had "no one" to sit by. I always had one or two people that I was friends with and I could talk to. That is not going to be the case at college.

I also have this fear of the unknown. I freak out when I go somewhere or do something and I don't know exactly what is going on. It was so easy at Murray because I always knew what was going on and if I didn't, I just had to text someone and ask. I don't know what is going to be happening at SLCC. I'm pretty sure this is what frightens me most. As I think about my future in college and just life in general the unknown is what scares me most. I am trying to change my mindset because I know that the unknown can also bring great surprises and adventures. So  here I am, literally arguing with myself about college.  I know it is going to be fine and I'm trying to be excited because I know it will bring great things into my life. Then I have this part of me that is telling my brain about how everything could go wrong, how I am going to get yelled at, walk into the wrong class, be told that my class section was cancelled and they forgot to let me know, or the worst thing that could happen, somehow they decide to charge me more money than what I'm already expecting. Yes, I know that most of these are very unlikely but I don't know how to get them out of my brain.

Right now I keep talking to my siblings that are in college and they are trying to calm me down.  I'm praying often to have The Spirit with me as I go to college. I know I have my Heavenly Father on my side and that is why I know everything will work out.

"The only real difference between anxiety and excitement was my willingness to let go of fear"- Barbra Brown Taylor

Stay tuned for my college adventures.

Failing Forward

 Imagine someone is trying to walk down a long and narrow road. Everytime they attempt to take a step forward they fall to their hands and knees. Since they are falling, they are failng. Since they are falling to their hand and knees they are falling forward and making progress. Isn't that weird to think about? They could be falling with every step, but as long as they keep falling forward, getting up, and falling forward again they are making progress.

Isn't this like life? The first thing I thought of when I thought aobut this was, this is how I should be when trying to be like Christ. I may fail but I need to be failing in the right direction. Progress is essential in this life and this is the way that I often find myself progressing. It is slow and painful and it doesn't feel like I am making progress but after many fails and falls, I look back and realize that I have come further than I ever thought I would.

The more I think about it, the more I realize that this is prevelant in every aspect of my life. Being a better employee, a better friend, a better sister, a better servant of the Lord, and a better daughter. I am constantly trying to become a better daughter to my parents here on this earth, and to my Heavenly parents. I know its hard to be my parent, but I wake up every morning with the intent to become a better person so I can make all of my parent's job a little bit easier. Do I succeed? I'm sure trying. Its a process that takes a long time and it includes lots of failing. Thankfully, my Heavenly Father is helping me fall in the right direction.

A key part to this whole thing is getting back up. Falling forward is great but as soon as we choose to stay on the ground, that halts our progression. I will admit, occasionally I will stay on that hard ground longer than I should but so far in my life I have gotten up every time and tried to stay on my feet a little bit longer than I did the last time. Everytime I have chosen to get up, I was not by myself. I know Jesus Christ was with me, extending his hand to help me get up, or sometimes He had to pick me up and place me on my feet in the right direction.

I am so thankful to those that have been with me while I fail. Many of the people in my life have been angels sent from my Father in heaven to pick me up and navigate me back on track.

The question I've been asked a lot lately  is "What are you up to? What are you planning to do with your life?" Right now my answer is, I'm just going to try and fail forward.