April 5, 2017

On Wednesday, April 5, 2017, I entered the Salt Lake temple to receive my endowment. (For those that do not know what this means, I received blessings from God and made covenants with Him). It was truly an incredible experience. It is very different than anything I have ever done, and probably very different than anything I will ever do. But  let us back up to the morning before I went through the temple.

What happens before you go do a really good thing? Satan. Satan happens. I was at work driving and started freaking out. I felt like I wasn't worthy and that I shouldn't go. Of course this wasn't going to stop me because I know I am worthy and I know this was a great thing to do for my eternal progression. Then I started thinking that maybe  I was doing this too early. I wasn't ready for the eternal promises I was going to make. This got me. I got really nervous and didn't know what to do. So I called a friend, she calmed me down and told me to read President Uchtdorf's talk on fear. It was incredibly helpful and I felt so confident in the decision I made.

This happens to me more than I would like. Satan gets me with fear, and we often the play a game of you're not good enough. Any time I am going to do something to bring me closer to Christ, Satan is right there. Why? Why does Satan bother with me? Why does Satan bother with us? Well, its because he knows what we are progressing. He attempts to keep us from doing anything that Heavenly Father asks us to do because he knows that we are doing things he can't. Satan sees our potential as children of God and wants to keep us from becoming the best we can be. We are progressing. He tries to talk me out of promptings because they are of God. They are good. All things God created are good. We are His creations.

I've been back to the temple a few times since then and I love it and can feel the power of God so strong when I am there.

Love life & Love yourself

BEWARE. I am getting on another self worth and self appreciation soap box.

I was talking to someone and we had a conversation that went something like this:

person: "you're so cute"

me: "oh definitely not"

person: "just say thank you"

Then we went on to talk about how we are both the worst at accepting compliments. This hit me really hard and made me think about looking at myself in a positive matter. Yes I am the worst EVER. It is definitely something I am working on. As I've interacted with human beings, I have found that I am not alone on this. I don't know if it is because we are afraid of looking vain by accepting a compliment or if it because we are so dang harsh on ourselves that we have buried any positive image that we have of ourselves.

I know it drives my mom crazy when I degrade myself in any way. It is probably a little insulting to her considering she raised me and I look a lot like her (which is pretty awesome because my mom is beautiful). I can't even begin to imagine how Heavenly Father feels when we insult ourselves. We are his creation and every time we tell ourselves that we are anything but awesome. The choices we may make may not be awesome, but as children of God we are awesome. We are literally children of the most powerful being in the universe. That seriously brings a smile to my face every time I think about it. I know He loves every single one of us because we are His. Please keep this in mind as someone tells you how great you are, give yourself some credit. We are all so hard on ourselves. We need to remember that as long as we are trying our best, we are doing what we need to be doing. Don't get me wrong, there is always room for improvement but just because we aren't reaching our full potential right this second doesn't mean we should belittle ourselves.

President Uchtdorf always says it best so listen to him.

Courtesy of Pinterest

Love life & Love yourself 

Testimony Time

I just want to take a second and write out my testimony. I think it is super important to write what we believe in and I hope one day my kids will read this and know without a doubt that I love the gospel. If you have any questions feel free to ask me or go take a look at lds.org :)

I know the gospel of Jesus Christ is the true gospel. I know it is the only thing that brings true joy. Our Father in Heaven has blessed us to have the gospel on this earth. It has blessed me in so many ways, it would take me a lifetime to write them all down. This gospel is the true definition of love. Jesus Christ is the PERFECT example of PERFECT love. I cannot fully comprehend the amount of love that man has for me. He came to this earth for me, for you, and for everyone. He suffered and died for us. Willingly. That is so incredible. I know He knows how I am feeling. Sometimes when I am suffering I can feel His heart bond with mine because He knows the pain I am feeling. I know my Father in Heaven is in control. He knows what He is doing and He has a plan. He has a plan for me, for every person, and for this earth. I owe my life to Him, for He is the one that gave me the opportunity to live. He gave me my amazing family to be with. He blessed with the true gospel in my life from my first day on this earth. He blessed me with amazing parents, siblings, friends, and role models.
I know the Book of Mormon is true. It was written so long ago but it was written for our time. It is the iron rod for our lives. The truth is literally in my pocket at all times. I love the Book of Mormon and I know it is accurate.
I know Joseph Smith was called by God to restore the gospel. He could not have done what he did without being guided by angels and by The Father. He went through so much pain and agony so that we could have the true gospel and the Book of Mormon here today. What an amazing man. I know that President Monson is called of God to lead our church in the right direction. I believe He receives revelation for the church that no one else can receive.
I know that our Savior loves us. there is not a time where He will turn us away if we call for him. I know He lives and will come to this earth again. I love Christ and Heavenly Father with everything in me.

picture from lds.org

I am a Mormon. I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and I am more than proud.

Unhappiness Does Not Equal Failure

Our society is so strange.  We try to be positive on social media to block out the all the negativity in this world.  Well a lot of the time this leads to only posting about happy things. I am the worst when it comes to this. I only post when I am happy. On twitter if I ever want to tweet something negative I go find an uplifting quote to put on instead which I don't think it is necessarily a bad thing but I fear that I come off as "fake" on social media because sometimes I don't post what I am actually feeling. But I will continue to do my best to walk the fine line of being real but positive on the social medias.

I have this problem and I'm sure others do too. I feel when I am unhappy I am failing. I have always been told that this life is meant for us to have joy, which it is. but we may not be joyful all the time and that's okay. About a month ago, I was feeling so sad, upset and I felt like I was no longer in control of my emotions. I couldn't cheer myself up and I was feeling as if I was not doing what I needed to be doing because I could not find happiness in a certain situation. I found myself praying for help because no one likes to feel sad and I got the most amazing prompting that came in a simple sentence. Unhappiness does not make you a failure. We can be sad or angry and still be on the right track. In fact we need to feel other emotions besides happiness and joy to fully understand this life. Opposition is necessary. (I know I talk about that all the time, and I will continue to do so.)

If you are finding yourself to be unhappy more than you feel you should be. Seek help and guidance. I know that Heavenly Father can provide both of those things for everyone. Whether or not you are a member of any church, you can ask Him for help. He is mindful of every single person at every single second of every single day. You are not failing. Falling, messing up, or even sinning does not make you a failure. I promise. You are loved, you always have been and always will be. Your happiness matters and I pray your life includes more happy times than anything else but if it doesn't, you are not failing and there are ways for you to find that joy and happiness again. Keep doing the things you should be doing and it will lead you to Christ which brings true happiness and true joy.

(found this on pinterest today and thought it was perfect! I love Elder Holland!!)

2016

It is so weird how a year's length feels shorter as the years go by. When I was little a year seemed so far away and now its just like "oh and in a few years I'll be doing....". Let's talk about when people are dating and if they have been dating for over a year its considered "a while". But when they get married and if they haven't been married for at least 5 years they are considered newly weds.

Anyways, I'll get back to my post. 2016 was pretty eventful and a milestone year for me. The first five months of the year I spent them in school, high school, doing what I always did the second half of the school year. Playing basketball and then on to softball. My senior softball season was awesome and I had so much fun. My nephew was born, and he is seriously the cutest person alive. Then somehow I found myself ending my high school life at graduation. Boy, was that weird. Then I went on a road trip of a life time with three of my friends and had the best time.  This summer was so different compared to all the summers I have experienced. I didn't have a single tournament. It was kind of sad but it was nice to be able to relax and spend time with my family and friends. I dreaded the ending to an awesome summer. I was having so much fun with little responsibility and everything was going exactly how I wanted it to. Starting college was a step in my life I always knew I was going to do but it scared me so badly. Well, I put my big girl pants on and went to school and it wasn't so bad. My fall went like this: got to school, go to work, go home, repeat. It got pretty tiring but it wasn't so bad and I have a really awesome job.

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Overall 2016 was pretty great but that definitely does not mean it was easy. There were times of extreme happiness and some times of extreme sadness. With every day and trial that comes and goes I am more and more thankful for the gospel and my family. There is no way I could go through the years and not go to my knees and ask my Father in Heaven for guidance or help. I can think of specific times where I asked God to show me His love for me and little things would happen. I would notice how beautiful the sun is, my mom would make me breakfast or dinner, or a friend would text me and check in on me. Not one time has my Father in heaven failed me. As time goes by my testimony grows more and more, I appreciate the things that are most important in life. I am so thankful for those who were apart of my 2016. Every person in my life has taught me something about life. I want every person reading this to know that God lives and He loves you and He will help you through anything you are going through.

First Semester of College + Scriptures

First semester of college ü If any of you read my Anxious, Nervous, Nerves post, you know how nervous I was for college. But I'm happy to report... I survived. It was definitley a new experience for me. I had to learn so much, for school and about myself. My social life was definitley not as exciting as I would have liked it to be but I am so thankful for the friends that I got to hang out with during the semester. I am so thankful for the people that are in my life and that are constantly there for me. 

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During this semester I had my ups and my downs as does every college student, with stress and being this age and just everything. During the down times I sometimes would just kind of dwell in my pool of sadness but I decided that was probably not a great way to deal with things. I tried to become enthralled with the scriptures. I love the scriptures so much and my love for the grew greater during this semester. The scriptures didn't give me the instructions I needed for my classes, thankfully I had textbooks for those. The scriptures definitley are my textbook for life. The Book of Mormon speaks to my soul everytime I read from it. The Spirit is in the words. Its crazy how something written so long ago by people I do not personally know, can be so relavent to me personally and to society today. I gained some new understanding of some subjects, especially the atonement, justice and mercy. (My favorite chapter that I learned about these subjects is Alma 42.) These past few months have been a little rough, but from the help of my faimly, friends, and the gospel, especially the scriptures I have become thankful for the hard times that I went through. The scriptures are so great. The gospel is so great. The atonement is so great. Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are so great. 

My go to scriptures and chapters:

Alma 26 especially verse 12

Alma 34:27

Alma 42

3 Nephi 9: 14

3 Nephi 10-27

Ether 12... I love the whole chapter but especially verse 27

Alma 42 is seriously so amazing. 

Science & God

This whole world is science. Its kind of crazy to think about. Most everything can be traced back to scientific reasoning, but where did science come from? God. Science was created by God. Learning about science strengthens my testimony every time I learn something new. Its crazy. The earth and our bodies are so incredible and work in so many different ways. People study science for their entire lives and cannot comprehend how it all works together to produce what it does. That my friends, is not by chance and there has to be someone behind it all. I truly believe that someone is Heavenly Father.

Think of every way your genetics have impacted your life. What you look like, how your body reacts to things, how your life would be different if your genetic makeup was different.  Recently I was in my biology class and my biology teacher talked about how every single person is 1 of 70 trillion genetic possibilities. I don't know about you but I think that is crazy! If my body looked or acted different, my life could be completely different. (I am trying to stay away from the argument of Nurture vs. Nature... think strictly nature) I could be in a different place. If I were a few inches taller I could be off playing basketball in college, but that isn't for me. God knew that. Yes, there are a few other things that played into my decision but my height was a major reason. This is one of many ways my genetics have impacted my life. I have talked to some people who have had trials with their health and they said they wouldn't change it for a second because of the strength they have gained and knowledge they have received.

In reality it all comes down to the fact that God knows us. He knows us all individually and He knows what we need in this life. Our genetics were pre-determined. When He created us, He put so much thought and effort into crafting a body perfect for the lifestyle each person would live on earth. The human body alone shows how much love Heavenly Father has for us. The earth is so beautiful because of science. Think of all the beautiful sunrises and sunsets that are produced through science. There are so many amazing things God has created because He loves us.

I am so thankful to have a Heavenly Father that loves me so much that He gave me a body that can do so many amazing things. I am so thankful for a Heavenly Father that loves all of His children so much that He gave us a beautiful earth to enjoy. I am so thankful for my Heavenly Father.